Neck pain giving me the worries, started thinking last night "what if it is a tumour or something." It is now appearing out of the blue only pain killers will make it go, not sure how much more I can stand. Period started last night.
The Zoo was nice, got to go into an Avery and hold birds, get shat on by birds and bitten by birds....Ahhhhh nature. The Kid, is rubbing me up the wrong way, but she is only being a 10 year old so cant blame her, but I have been stuck in the house with her for 3 days alone already by this point, it's putting me off wanting any the way I feel right now.
Things that are bugging me
- Being stuck in the house - knew she wouldn't get much if any time off but didn't think she would work so late
- Dog sleeping with or needing to sit in between us if there is the slightest inch of a gap, failing that, sitting on us.
- Kid getting into every conversation, I believe kids shouldn't butt into topics of conversation that do not concern them, I don't care how smart they are. Ocassionally they do but ALL the frigging time?
- The Kid gets away with not having a wash or shower everyday..WTF?
Me: " Do you want a shower now or before you go to bed tonight?".......
Kid: " My mum lets me have a shower every other day"......
Me: "Oh?!".
Put a call in to Mother and convo goes like this.....
ME: hey Hun you busy?
Mother: No, Why?
ME: Well Just wondered after what you said last night about you not taking a shower that night because you had one that morning and after what *bleep* said, i wondered if me taking a shower twice a day was costing you too much money and you were too embarrassed to tell me?"
Mother: No, what did *bleep* say?
ME: she said you let her take a shower every OTHER day.
Mother: Oh yeah, No. Water is cheap hun very cheap, Go ahead and have your showers, just I don't want to argue or stress her out about it.
WTF!!!???!!!
Now Unless your child or adult has a skin condition such as Eczema or dermatitis why would you not shower every day? Failing that, what stops you from at least getting a flannel, running soapy water in the sink and using the flannel to wash your under arms, wipe your body down and wash your arse and genitalia?? Come on people!!
Result....the Girl not had a shower now since Tuesday. Saturday morning mother doesn't even ask me when the last time her daughter bathed before she gets dressed and heads off to the Zoo.
Look I admit i don't wash everyday but here is the thing, if I am going to work i do,if I live in a hot climate I do and the only time I don't is if I am home in my jim jams all day. I think especially children need to get into good hygiene habits from an early age. the kid already has hairy legs and is shaving AT 10!!!!!!! What happens when she starts her period???
More...
- Her mother doesn't get the Kid to comb her hair everyday or every other day even.....Result? Kid has yet to comb her hair since Monday and that is only a GUESS. The child has mixed hair, not tightly curled in fact very straight compared to most I have seen. including my 13 mixed cousins. But because it is thick the mother cant be bothered to do it, It takes too long, It makes her cry, I cant yet afford $100 to get it done by a black hair stylist. Sheeesh. Why don't people think about these things before hand. Black kids have the hardest time with hair and it being combed as a kid. Do you think for one minute our parents would let us not comb our hair everyday unless it was braided??? DEAL WITH IT!! so many products out there just for this problem.
- Messy.
On one of the days I had the Kid i tidied the entire house, it was clean but a mess. Now i don't mind mess...But for Fuck sake!! If someone helps you out because ya kid says you have no time to do it then the least you could do is not step out your clothes and leave them in the middle of the room. if someone does all your dirty laundry and folds them neatly on the bed, the least you can do is not leave them there and sleep with them.
Now don't get me wrong if you want to live that way...OK, fine i can accept that. But it wont be with me.
Now I am trying to be respectful it is THEIR home not mine, i have been welcomed in it, they trusted me to be here and therefor i should respect their choices. So barring the issues with the dog I have not said a thing about how i feel about all of the above....Who am i to pass judgement or comment. The only thing is when I find someone who I like and who likes me how do you tell them the personal things about how they live that put you off/repulse you?
And worse still how do you tell a parent things like the above that would not be compatible with your idea of parenting? Especially when you have no idea what it is like being one?
Well, i guess the answer is ........You don't! hence why I am here on this blog.
Last night the kids was supposed to go to the grandparents to give us time alone for one night, Kid was dropped off at 20:30...................Back by 22;45. Allergy to grandparents Cats. Oh well Cest la vie.
Better get off now she is up and knows summin is wrong. More later.
Excuse all typos need to put this out there it's driving me nuts
3 comments:
I can understand the stuff about not showering and the house being a mess pissing you off, but please! Honey the kid and the dog were in her life a long time before you were. You knew she had pets, you knew she had a kid, what did you expect? That you were going to get loads of time with her alone? Come on, get real! I've been reading for a while now and from the sounds of things you hardly know the woman, and yet you go to her house, in a foreign country to stay with her for a while and expect it to be hunky dorey? I personally think it's great that she doesn't cast her child aside so that you can have private conversations, she hardly even knows you! You don't sound mature enough to even accept that she has other responsibilities and concerns other than you, let alone mature enough to have a kid of your own.
Point taken and understood. The kid is not an issue for me I like kids. Maybe I feel angry at making a rash decision as I was so pissed off with my own life at the time.
Maybe I am not mature enough to have kids right now that is your right of opinion.
Thank you for your feedback and getting other perspectives helps me re-evaluate my own.
Did I think I would have her all to myself? No. Did I think one night in a week for a couple hours we could have a meal together? Yes. I was only going by what she told me.
Oh dear. Not going very well then? I take the point made in the anonymous comment about the child and the dog being in her life beforehand, but I don't think it's unreasonable of you to have hoped/expected her to have made some time for you during your visit. So far it seems like you've spent the bulk of your time babysitting!!
Fair play to you for being respectful enough not to make an issue about all of it with them though - as you said, you were not really looking for anything long term, so what's the point in creating unnecessary friction. Do what you can to enjoy the time you have there and you'll know better what to ask next time, eh?
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