Living Vs Existing

I am finally living and not just existing.

Thank you for your comment Ken, it made me smile and also reminded me that I still have readers although I thought I had lost them all due to making my blog password protected earlier...... You are right a healthy skepticism is needed for such things and we all posses some ability, the human error thing is the real clincher though isnt it, some are more wrong than others and even the most experienced can get it wrong, I think the trick is to not live your life by the instruction of others without consulting your self first because in short you know what decidions to make that suit you.

So here is an update.

I am finally appreciating my life and so grateful that I cant help but smile everyday, Special K and I are going great, we have not once fallen out which makes a change from the last one, even though it is still early days but we have been spending lots of time together and having great sex and amazing Scenes together too that really get me going. The visit before last we had so much sex I was sore and boss eyed but every minute of it was fab, for 6 days we shagged everywhere, she at one point fully clothed pinned me down on the dining room table after a night out at a mate of hers for dinner and pulled out a strap-on and did me till I couldn't walk, my knees were so weak, only to continue for another couple of hours in the bedroom upstairs, and that has been generally how we have been.

We laugh so hard we both stop breathing gasping for air, such as the one occasion we were being really serious and out of the blue I accidentally whacked her in the mouth with Mr. Blue causing her to whack me back intentionally with Mr. Green ( a smaller toy of joy) and both of us beating the heck out of each other ( playfully of course) with respective vibrating accessories until one stopped and called time as we rolled around on the bed laughing and me landing on the floor in a paralysed state of laughter.

I often catch my self thinking of her and the time not too long ago that I wanted to take my own life and things were so dark I couldn't see clearly and now....... Now I am so happy the other day back from the Trafford centre where we laughed and giggled, I sat in the car and she said something that made me laugh then the next thing I knew I was bawling my eyes out through sheer happiness and I couldn't stop crying and repeating "I cant believe I am so happy". She just cuddled me and in her Northern accent said " its alright Kid I'm here and you deserve to be happy"...GOD she makes me melt just thinking about her.

She is everything I dreamed of and more but I think I said all that in the last post. Anyway OK back to updating and less mushy stuff... She is currently at mine and I have been nursing her for almost a week she had terrible flu ( not man flu) and I have been nursing her back to health, not sleeping through the night just so I can listen out for her and making her hot honey and lemon at 4am just so she can sooth her throat as the constant coughing was intolerable for her, also making sure the room was a good temperature and generally doing my best to make sure she had all she needed.

Monday I had to go to the hospital for another check up and consultation regarding my infertility, well it is confirmed I have to have what is called an Abdominal Myomectomy... My Fibroids are now so large they are the size of a 16 week old feotus...Niiiiiice!! So this is a big operation that on the down side could mean removal of my womb or a blood transfusion, on the upside a higher chance but no guarantee of me getting pregnant. I will be in hospital for 3 days and have to be off work for about 4 -6weeks ( joy...not)

Anyway it was nice in the appointment because I think the consultant knew we were together as she asked her if she had any questions or worries about me having the procedure even though I introduced her as my mate for moral support. I have a pre assessment on the 14th April and the surgery on the 9th June...... shiting bricks??? You bet your genitals I will be!!!!


On Monday I also had my counselling exam and the week prior I lost my portfolio on the tube ARRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Just the thing you want to happen two weeks before it is due to be handed in as part of your exam :o(..... So having to do another one and make up 3months work in one week. I called TFL lost property but still nothing.. :o(... OH well.......

OOhh I am going to see a psychic (recommended to me) over the weekend and I am taking Special K to a very luxurious london spa for the day to get her back to health, treatments consisting of mud wraps, 30 min aromatherapy massages and generally lazing by the pool, jacuzzi, steam room and saunas being waited on hand and foot and treated like a Queen for the day all for the lovely price of a short holiday in Greece but we don't have that kind of time off work so this will have to do for now, I tried to keep it as a surprise but I couldn't and ended up crumbling under the excitement of it all.

I took her shopping a couple weeks back and bought her some cool trainers and a really nice top, she loved it. I don't spend money on her to make her like me any more than she already does I just have finally found someone who appreciates the way I treat her physically and emotionally and after her Ex well....... lets just say the family thinks I am an angel in disguise and my mother thinks the same about her too.

hmmm... off to think of anything else I may have forgotten, I will try to update this more often.

I re -read the last post and saw a couple things I didn't update.

Chris Rock show ROCKED My brother loved it and so did I, I thougt he was brill.
Mum made a great meal for the first time meeting Special K and they got on like a house on fire, my mum was on top form making us both laugh till all of us choked on our rice N peas. At one point I aske my mum what she thought of my new perfume..... my mums response..... " Hmmmm it... it kinda ... It smells like Cat PISS!!".... OM FUCKING GOD.. NO she didnt my mum just said in front of my new girlfreind that I smelt of cat piss...... I was in shock and special K just wet herself laughing, my mum then wanted me to smell one she liked and in true form I smelt it and said " it smells like sweaty testicles !!!" just to get my own back, to which my mum replied... " yes I like that smell" definantly and as indignant as could be..... Well what do you say to that??? We just all laughed.

It was all in good humour and my mum even moved in for a cuddle and told us to be careful on or night out and thanks for coming. My mum if funny about people she meets for the first time, she didnt like the bitch but never told me that, mum even said Special K was cute and she liked the way she came across, genuine and relaxed, the only thing she wasnt sure about was that she dressed and looked like a boy LOL and had short hair, but I kindly reminded my mum that was how I liked them androgynous.